=)

2012-01-27T20:34:00.003+08:00

Its a pity cny passed by so quickly

though the same routine happens every year, i feel happy to go through it

with all the joy and laughter spent with my family

and the "competition" amongst us competing on who will arrive first

and who will be the last

rushing as if its amazing race

and not to forget the "best dressed competition" between the "kids"

seeing who dress best this year

not missing out the food

all the abalone, bah kwa and tidbits...

i will miss all these memories

2012-01-20T00:04:00.002+08:00

等夏天等秋天等下个季节
要等到月亮变缺
你才会来到我身边

要不要再见面没办法还是想念
突然想看你的脸熟悉的感觉
不牵手也可以漫步风霜雨雪
不能相见也要朝思暮念

只想让你知道我真的很好
爱一生恋一世我也会等你到老
只想让你知道放不下也忘不掉
你的笑你的好是我温暖的依靠

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_FO0tiZU54&feature=related

2012-01-19T22:44:00.002+08:00

3 more weeks and i'll be gone

time past really fast right?

so many things to do yet nobody to do it with me

I want to go too the zoo

sit the flyer

go to mbs

and so on

but as time goes by, i realize something

I have a lot of friends but very few close ones

or maybe cause i lost them because of a few events

i'll start a new life in Melbourne

meanwhile, i decide to prepare for uni and also work towards my dream

so i read through my econs text book while watching tv shows at the same time

and analyzing the difference between a Singapore film, Hong Kong film and also a Korean film

analyzing good and bad shows

good and bad story lines

and also learnt certain values

maybe its time to reflect and learn whats love

and what do i truly want in life

after watching 步步惊心

i learnt that power isn't everything

you may have all the power to do something but at the midst of achieving it, you will lose something more valuable than that

the 4th prince fought hard to achieve that emperor position

but when he got it, he realized that he wanted it so badly

he would do anything to protect that position

and his close friends and loved ones along the way

this caused him to lose his true love and certain memories that would only exist if he wasn't the emperor

yet i believe he didn't regret his decision for fighting for that

because he achieved so much more

when I was a SM, i eyed to be a SD

and dreamt of being that everyday

but when i got it, i wasn't that happy after all

because i lost a few things along the way

the most valuable things and most innocent ones

don't get me wrong, i don't regret joining the company

and fighting for that post

i just regret certain actions of mine that caused some unhappiness

it caused me to realize that money isn't everything

power isn't everything

all i want now is to go back to the me 1 year ago

or perhaps 2 years ago

so many things to say

but somethings are better left unsaid

and unknown..

2012-01-16T13:39:00.001+08:00

The other day, something happened which caused me to realise that I need to do some reflection

Maybe caused it happened when my pastor preached about the same topic

How anger can change a personality of someone and how harmful it can be

Well for me, I may be hot tempered sometimes but after that, I'll apologise if I'm wrong

Hot tempered character will only cause people to turn away from you

So someone got angry because I told her what she did wrongly

And the witness around also know that she was wrong

Yet she pushed the blame and said it was my fault

And how my "naggy" character could turn guys off away

And so, I told her to remember what we learnt in church and cool down before you speak

Because when you are angry, you say words that would hurt people and make you feel happy temporarily

And because she dont reflect and learn from her mistake that's why things don't go her way

But at that point of time, I kept quiet knowing that I was right

And started to reflect about myself

Have I been too naggy and too hot tempered that some people stop taking my advices?

Or even losing the respect of others?

I guess Its time for me to improve on myself

My friend was told me that we are who we are. No matter how much we try to improve, this character within us will stay with us

I'm gonna change that thinking of his

2012-01-10T00:56:00.002+08:00

I've decided to take a different route

And perhaps step out of my comfort zone

From now, I'll use my remaining 1 month to meet up with people who treasure this friendship

And let go of those who don't

2012-01-04T18:44:00.001+08:00

Just spent the most awesome countdown party in Malacca with my whole family

This trip caused me to realize something

Money isn't everything

Money can't buy this feeling of happiness when you are with your family

When the 12 of us gathered tgt and chat till late at night

I realize that this feeling is genuine

and i wouldn't buy anything to replace this

so what if you have a billion dollars

so what if you own a BMW

but you use the time to trade for this

i had a awesome family bonding time

and i hope that there would be more to come

thank God for this

2011-12-31T03:38:00.002+08:00

I am up in the middle of the night trying to do my reflection before I leave to Malaysia tmr

2011 is the only year in my life that I am not schooling, I mean excluding pre school and when I was a toddler.

In the first 4 months of my life, I was introduced to this platform called LFI, where I did MLM.

I loved that platform cause I got to work my friends

And it trained my PA skills

I became a more confident individual

I wanted to prove others that girls can succeed too so I worked very hard trying to fight for this status called – sales director

I wanted to wear the blazer and feel different on stage

But as I started fighting

Many problems occurred

My best friends turned against me

Family refused to support me

There were times I was lost and didn’t know what to do

And times where I woke up in the morning thinking of how to hit my target

At last, I finally hit SD with the help of Ee Kheng

This led to the second phase of my life (May- Aug)

By then, A level results were out and I realize I couldn’t fulfill my dream of being a dentist

I took a short break from LFI wanting to figure out what I really want

At that moment, my best friend who introduced me to that platform quit

Which made me lost

I joined because she was there and wanted to be closer to her

I knew I cant maintain my SD position

And if I didn’t, I wouldn’t receive a good income

And so, I went to work for my mum

At the same time, my parents applied for uni for me

I was confident I could get into a local university

So I only filled up the choices that I was confident on

Unfortunately, I couldn’t get in

After much persuasations from my father, I decide to fulfill my long term dream and go overseas to study

I have this secret dream

I want to be a film director and script writer

I started thinking of story lines, twist, climax and I finally took a bold step to study media and communications

While “floating” around LFI, I studied for my IELTS test

Took driving lessons

At this point of time, I met boy

He thought me a lot

Especially the fact that looks don’t matter

A typical playboy who just wanted my body

But I am glad I didn’t meet him at night

Cause guys like him, don’t deserve to exist in my reality

And the last 4 months of the year, I joined Citibank

And became part of the front end bank card’s team

I met a lot of young people there

My job was to call and remind people to pay up

In fact, this job thought me so much more

I learnt about bank security and secrecy act

I also learnt how to communicate with customers and how to manage them well instead of asking my mentor every time

I also missed those times, Ksen, Garry oppa and I would go down and take a short break at 3

My supervisor- Caho, though strict was always nice to me

I met some really good friends there

I will miss all of them when I leave

But I will be back during my holidays

I also realize how important my family members are to me

Sometimes, when we fight so hard for our dreams,

We fail to neglect something more important which is our family

And I feel guilty for letting my parents feel upset during the first 4 months of my life

I decide to spend more time with them

2011, thanks for teaching me all this

I look forward to 2012

2011-12-28T18:45:00.002+08:00

post Christmas activities- fever with a bad flu

i won't be surprised if its due to over exhaustion and lack of rest

as i am writing this, i am sneezing really badly

but somehow, i just have the inspiration to write

Secret Garden- the award winning Korean Drama in 2011

that very drama that inspired me

so i went to do some research

I researched on the script writer

she wrote various shows

some succeeded, some did not

but after years of perseverance, this show finally won the award

sometimes i wonder why Singapore dramas aren't welcome

and i guess i know the answer

the plot is so predictable

the bad people will forever be bad, was forever bad

the good people will not have a happy ending

the story line is just so simplistic

we, humans are already having such a hard time in society

when we on the TV, we wish that there could be a show to take us off our mind

instead of cursing the bad characters

and switching to another channel

lastly, i also researched on how much a script writer can earn

not much as compared to celebrities

running man, MC Yae-Suk gets paid 9k++ /episode

script writers? 30k if the show becomes successful

imagine the pain they have, having to think of new ideas, twist, climax

but we should neglect the fact that too much attention have been put and focused on celebrities

and they are exchanging something more for money

"their unhappiness for the audience's happiness"

well, thats just my opinion

2011-12-26T01:10:00.001+08:00

Just watched secret garden

Finished watching it in 3 days? Awesome huh?

Korean shows are simply fab

Probably cause the actors and actress look excellent

Good figure, good body, good acting

And their scripts are interesting too

A pinch of comedy in their scripts

Not lame but funny

A lot about love and date

And how they struggled but finally en up tgt

Maybe I should stop watching drama shows

Other than analysing it, it's making me drift far from reality

Sometimes I wonder if that mr Right will appear

That I will know its him

And that my fairy tale would be like how I expected it to be

Will that happen? Or am I living too far away from reality?

2011-12-25T01:19:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry I found out too much and am kinda disappointed with your actions.

2011-12-25T01:17:00.001+08:00

Merry Christmas all:)

May God bless you & thank God for everything he have given me

---

Guys normally ask girls what kind of dream guy they are looking for

And the first answer girls will give isn't looks

It's money

It's my dream to live in a big house

Drive a BMW and let people admire my lifestyle

Buy sometimes money isn't everything

The more money you have, the more responsibility you have to bear

Even so, i still admire those rich people for being able to live in the lifestyle

I don't need to marry a rich guy

Bur just let me date him, to get a feel of it:)

I've also decided to let go

And let the memories die

2012 will be a new start

I'll probably blog about my reflections and new year resolution on mon

Meanwhile, enjoy Christmas all:D

2011-12-17T19:48:00.003+08:00

Just watched already famous

I thought that the trailer was much better than the movie

The story line was good

Acting was good as usual

Just short of some kicker

And some emotions that we, audience should feel

Probably cause of the change we hope to see from zann

Or the success from Christopher

Jokes we good

But it showed too much of our negative points

With all the "la, lor, hor"

I feel that zann's desire for success was strong

But they didn't show how the audience change their impression of her after a while

Only showed her perseverance

But she didn't really change herself because of the comments and advice given by people

Maybe because she wanted to show others that you can still be yourself when you succeed

But in reality, how many people can truly accept this?

Love is blind but christopher's love for zann was too abrupt

The way they progress too

Couldn't see that she liked him till she asked if he still like his ex gf

But all in all

I admire Michelle Chong for working towards that dream

Can I work towards that?

An when my shows become famous and be a big hit

That one day you'll finally admit and support my dream

That one day I'll be in the limelight once again

This time by my own ability

2011-12-16T20:15:00.002+08:00

came across this song the other day

brings us lots of memories right?

sang by 5566 and featured in a show called MVP qing ren

name: 我難過

read the lyrics carefully

那一年默默無言只能選擇離開
無邪的笑容已經不再精彩
你害怕結局所以拼命傷害
說是我擋住你的美好未來

你堅決不希望我等待
我便默默的讓你走開
如今你受了傷回來
叫我如何接受這安排

我難過的是放棄你放棄愛
放棄的夢被打碎忍住悲哀
我以為是成全
你卻說你更不愉快

我難過的是忘了你忘了愛
盡全力忘記我們真心相愛
也忘了告訴你失去的不能重來

我難過的是忘了你忘了愛
盡全力忘記我們真心相愛
也忘了告訴你失去的不能重來

remember this lyrics 3 years from now

---

got inspired to write add a scenario to my script!

2011-12-15T20:18:00.001+08:00

I'm pretty much stuck in the toilet now

Someone was right

The toilet seems to be the best place for ideas, and for reflection too

Pretty sick now

Having a bad flu which makes me so sleepy and tired

And I am so tempted to apply for a 2 hours off

2 hours isn't much. $9 X2 = $18

Another 2 hours of OT = $26

Which is quite a lot

I can easily hit my daily target of 530 calls in an hour

It's a matter of whether I want to

But cause I know I'm exchanging my time for money, so I refuse to hit it

What for achieve my target now when I can do so later?

And that's why if I'm an employer, I'll pay someone by their effort to finish their daily task

If you can finish 530 calls in 2 hours, I'll still pay you $100

Isn't that more productive?

3.04pm

2011-12-14T22:18:00.002+08:00

I'm trying so hard to juggle between my personal thinking and the dreams I wanna achieve

I wnana be great

I wanna be envied

I wanna be a different kind of girl

And yet that seems so hard

It just leaves a wrong impression to others

Let others think that im money minded

But that's not the truth

Money isn't everything

I wouldn't want to be rich and have no time to spend with my family

Or Have a poor health

Or maybe a broken family

What's the point right?

You can't put your car or money along with you and drag it to heaven

While we are so focused in achieving the stuff we want

We forget and neglect God

And that's what my dad is afraid of

Yet I don't want to live a normal life

I want a debt-free life where I don't have to worry about money

Where people around me would see me and admire me

Where I'll be the apple of someone's eye

Why is it so hard?:(

2011-12-12T19:51:00.000+08:00

"Can I buy your time?"

2011-12-10T23:48:00.002+08:00

Have been reflecting about my life and learnt something new

A few days ago, an incident happened during huddle, something asked my sup "how many children do you have?"

she said " I'm not married"

at different times of our life, we should be doing different things and achieving different things

probably cause i still belong to the 95% of the world so i still think this way

when we are young, we are supposed to be studying

at 16, taking O/N levels

at 21, preparing to go uni

at 24, working

at 28, married?

at 60, retired

if you do not follow this life then something must be wrong because you aren't normal

people will start asking questions like "why aren't you married?" "why did you stop studying" etc

sometimes we ought to see reflect and see if we are on the right track

or if we its normal to be out of the norm

ANYWAY! i finished writing 1 of my scripts yesterday

not exactly a script

but a synopsis.

will it work?

2011-12-03T12:29:00.002+08:00

Will my dreams come true?

Can I achieve that long term goal?

Sometimes im afraid that if I'm too ambitious, I'll lose more things along the way

Honestly, which guy would want a 女强人?

But I still wanna work hard for my future

I'm thinking of doing my own business in Aussie

Part time business, full time study

Just came out with a plan but it's still in progress

Ksen often say that I'm pretty money face

Honestly, I'm not

I just want sufficient money to live in my life now

I want a condo, a car and a life where I don't have to worry about money

Or when I see something I like, I'll have the ability to buy it

I'm not materialistic

I don't need a BMW/Ferrari etc

I don't need to live in a bungalow

I don't need to have 10 branded bags

I just want a normal family car

I want to live in a condo cause I'm pretty used to living in one

Will I achieve this?

---

Sometimes I wonder if you genuinely care for me

Can we all go to the past?

When I was naive and innocent

Where i trusted everyone around me

I miss the old me, the old you and my past

Why does my heart feel bitter and angry

And lost that happy feeling I used to have?

2011-12-01T07:40:00.003+08:00

Lost my inspiration for quite some time so hvent been writing scripts

I guess - was right

I got a few inspiration from him

But due to the lack of communication between us, I can't really think of anything

And I can't possibly go to - and tell him that I need inspiration

I gotta fall in love again

And got to experience a break up

But why does it all seem so hard?

Probably ksen was right

I'm not looking for a boyfriend, I'm looking for a husband

That's why I don't put in my feelings so easily

Cause I don't feel that we can last

Maybe I'll just get my inspiration from people around me:)

2011-11-29T20:07:00.002+08:00

How can there be so much ego in a r/s?

It's either one lets go or they won't end up with each other right?

It's like a game of tug of war

Where both parties are holding the rope very tightly

And so eager to win

Seems like one is losing now

And that person is thinking if she should just completely let go of it

Why can't the two parties just drop the game and say its a tie

Ego sucks

2011-11-28T07:37:00.002+08:00

Had a awesome weekend

Went on a family trip to malacca

Bought lots of stuff

Ate lots of stuff

Had lots and lots of fun

I wanna spend all my free time with my family

I used to Spend a lot of time earning money and working hard for my dream

But now, I see the importance of spending valuable time with my family

Friends may come and go

Dreams will only get bigger

But family will stick with you through thin and thick

That's me:)

The typical family girl

Or more like the family princess

I'll still work hard for my dreams

But I got a better plan now:)

2011-11-25T07:37:00.003+08:00

I'm leaving to malacca tdy:)

Kind of excited cause I'm going with my whole family

Guess I'm the family kinda girl

And it would probably take a long time for me to find the right one:)

But it's all right

I'm still young

I've plenty of time

---

Running man is so hilarious<3

I so love the show

2011-11-22T19:07:00.002+08:00

Over here is something like fighting sales

Didn't really thought of that till bx told me he was short of a few thousand k

Haha

Reminded me of life in LFI.

Remember those times where I used to be so stressed

Where I'll close my eyes and think of how to hit my target

When I was short of that last QA

Memories huh?

And I used to tell ek I was super stressed

Bang my head on the wall

Then ek would say, come, let's go out for a ice cream break

Guess its kinda the same here

So I told bx to be positive:)

Law of attraction huh?

But oh well. At least he has commission

I don't. Damn.

2011-11-21T08:10:00.000+08:00

kkoom-ee ahneegee-ruhl nah-neun gee-doh-haebwah-yo

neh maum-ee jjakoo geudaerahn sarahm noh-jee-malrago hahneh-yo

yohkshi-meul neh-rah-myuh bah-boh-kahteun mahl-eul hahneh-yo

Words that are left unspoken

But spoken in the lyrics of the song:)

Quoted from a song in full house(Korean show)

Shan't say it

So these words will remain unknown

2011-11-19T01:53:00.001+08:00

Haven't been blogging

Probably cause I have someone to talk to

I've nice colleagues who will always be there for me when I need them

Peeps like ksen, Jorge, Garry and Raynard:)

Thanks guys for always listening to me rant and bitch

And even encourage me

I guess the reason why I love this place is cause of them even though I've a high target to hit everyday, see the com everyday and get scolded by customers at times. But they always make my day:)

Thanks bros.

Some dreams are better left as dreams

Cause if you achieve those dreams then you will have bigger dreams

Greater ones that are harder to achieve

And you will get greedy

Just like me

Always yearning for more

I've decided to let go of that far fetched dream and welcome myself back to reality

Cause I asked myself

What if I achieve that

Will I be truly happy?

2011-11-16T21:31:00.001+08:00

Maybe cause I lost my friends before

I begin to treasure those that I have now

I'm afraid of losing them again

At the same time I really want to run out of the rat race

Time to think of a new business plan:D

This time, I'll trust God

---

Been gym-ing

Pretty much fun and addictive

Somehow, this place isn't like outside

Made so much true friends here

Fake friends too

But true and nice ones do exist <3

Thanks for all the love, food an never ending laughter

Thanks all:)

2011-11-11T23:06:00.002+08:00

Today taught me a lesson

11/11/11

In order to let the "best" notice you

Be better than the "best"

And that's probably what I want to do

Be the best I can ever be

Going to make myself prettier

Fairer, slimmer, smarter

And do stuff you can't

Going to start from next week

2 weeks full detox/protein week

Gym 3 times a week

Study 2 times a week

Plan and act 2 times a week

Don't regret your actions

Cause I'm gonna work hard to be better than you

2011-11-09T19:53:00.001+08:00

I wish one of us can put down our ego

And just message each other

Just a simple message "how have you been?"

This would probably save our friendship

I ponder over this everyday

Guess its a waste of time

If you cared, you would ask me a long time ago

Why should it be me?

2011-11-08T18:59:00.002+08:00

Spent my whole afternoon baking chocolate hazelnut cake for my bro

Didn't turn out well though:(

Feel so upset cause I wanted to do a little smth for my bro before I leave

But oh well:)

Spent my weekend choosing my university modules

Kind of excited for school!

Though not prepared at all, but I'll still do my best

---

Waiting for my sweet revenge to come:)

2011-11-03T21:35:00.002+08:00

Watched "in time" with my colleagues just now

Super entertaining

And it was really awesome

Like all script writers, I was analysing the movie and the transition between the scenes

Not to forget the ending

I think it's really cool

Cause after the movie, on my way home, I chased the bus

I don't chase the bus

It taught me to appreciate time

But the story lacks something

The ending

Time is like a currency

If everyone has equal time then what would you do?

You need a new currency to survive

And this is what would happen if everyone have the same amount of money in their bank

Money becomes valueless

Money is just a value

Notes are just notes

It taught me something

When you are rich and have all the time in the world

You become more stingy and start to be cautious in what you spend

And start to earn more money

Because time is running out

And you are afraid of leaving your rich life style

And when you are poor?

You only have time to worry if you have enough money to live

That's why the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer

And one more take back

Be independent and responsible for your life

2011-11-02T21:39:00.003+08:00

how do you be a social butterfly?
time to learn from chester
the perfect example of "ren jian ren ai"

i told X i changed a lot
he asked what
i said my EC etc etc
he said something that made sense

The reason why my EC becomes higher is because they are my downlines
income related to me
imagine working outside, will you react the same way?
guess not

we all have a specific personality
but we are just hiding it with a false facade
true huh?

i feel that i am losing myself already
but if losing myself is for the better than why not?

2011-11-02T19:28:00.004+08:00

Trust
what's trust?

I seldom trust people because people tend to break their promises
and thats why i stop trusting people
because of all the shit stuff they have said
and when they say, dont tell anyone
Its all bull shit

Thats why i dont tell people stuff anymore
and when people ask my about my problems
or my past
i will think twice before letting them know
or before telling them something important

and i guess from now
i shall start to watch my words again
and as time past, i am afraid i may feel more lonely
and my fake smile and laughter will just be a facade

and because of that

I am feeling all lonely again

And looking at my attached friends and thinking if I should be in one

On second thoughts, no

Save all the trouble and all the hassle

All the quarrels etc

I need a guy friend that can be more than a friend, less than a couple

Be there for me when I need him

But I'm so fussy

Can't find the right one

I miss you
I really do
Wish we could go back to the old times
I wish

2011-10-31T19:58:00.005+08:00

Work just ended

Exhausted max

But worth while:)

Collected a lot of money and serve my customers well today

Haha

But oh well:( lost my card

Need to pay a fine

Hope some kind soul will return it to Citibank

Sometimes when we are so focused in our goals

We neglect something more important than that

To service with a genuine heart

Maybe cause I don't get commission

So I serve my customers very well

But if I do get commission I may be more focused in getting them to pay only

That's what we often do in the service line

So people, when you dial your friend's number and offer them an opportunity

Do you often think of the target you want to hit?

Or just plainly help them

Honestly, you know the answer

I don't have to prompt you

What about SMS-ing your friend

And Asking them to meet up

Or meeting up with friends

What's your hidden agenda?

Probably because I'm guilty of this

That's why I tend to suspect people

And thus, I'be changed

I no longer do that

I call people to bitch/discuss stuff with them

SMS something to make them smile

This is the new me

2011-10-30T22:56:00.002+08:00

I doubt anyone read my previous post since its so long and lengthy

Haha

Before taking my afternoon nap today, I thought of a few stuff

A few memories I had with my guys

Tbw(team building workshop)

A rather good one

Learnt a lot of values in those activities

Bonded with my guys and the last activity

The unforgettable one

The stuff I said to ek, leon, Nic, hl and art

Those few people who impacted my life

I still remember our conversation

Wouldn't I be a bitch to leave now?

and then came SAP

Where I saw my dreams

And how hard my parents worked for me

And not to forget, how I decide to help my guys fulfil their dreams

And now, it all seems so diluted

Probably because of all the rejections I face along the way

And the opinions of different people

I feel like falling back into the region of the 95%

And be outstanding in that 95%

how?

Quote from Wei kit

"sometimes the easy way often seems hard and the hard way often seems easy"

Dad said to rely on God's strength

So Lord

Please tell me what to do

2011-10-29T23:16:00.004+08:00

This post is rather long. you may choose to stop reading it along the way :)

The 4 basic principles of Econs

Principle 1: People face Trade Offs

To get one thing that we like, we usually have to give up another thing that we like, trading off one goal against another.

*People are more likely to make good decisions only if they understand the options they have available

Principle 2: The cost of something is what you give up to get it

*Be aware of the opportunity costs that accompany each possible action

Principle 3: Rational people think at the margin

A rational decision maker takes an action if and only if the marginal benefit of the action exceeds the marginal cost.

Principle 4: People respond to incentives

These are the 4 economic principles which I extracted from the book, Principles of Economics by Mankin, Quah and Wilson

I have been in a cross road and deciding if I should continue doing the business or not. Honestly, it isn’t an easy decision and I have been thinking about it for the past 4 months.

It was like making the decision of going overseas and study. Although it was mostly because my father insisted that I go, but it took me a few months to decide.

Here’s why I decided to go overseas and study instead of going SIM. My A level results were pretty decent but not good enough to get me into SMU or NTU econs. My dream was to study dentistry because I wanted to be outstanding but it wasn’t because I was very interested in the subject. Later on, I decided to study business because I want to open my own business in the future. However, after further consideration, I decide to study for passion instead of money. My passion is to enter the media industry and write meaningful scripts that could change people’s perception of something. SO, why did I decide to further my studies overseas and not in Sg?

Firstly, University of Melbourne is a much better college than all the private universities in Sg. According to TIMES, it is also a better college than our local universities.

Secondly, Umel offers me a double major in economics and media & communications which both my interest.

Thirdly, it has been my dream to go overseas to study and be an independent individual.

SO, no matter how much you ask me to stay, I will still leave because I made that decision already.

NEXT, the business:

Doing the business:

I decide to do the business for a long term goal of driving a sports car, living with my best friends and making my parents proud. However, in order to do that, I have to sacrifice my family time to spend time prospecting people or helping my down lines. At the midst of helping people, I may meet people who are against the idea and lose my friends along the way. However, shallow friends are the ones who will leave you. If they are truly your friends, they would encourage you and support you just like how geok leng did.

Options I have available

1) Go home and spend time with my family and rest early BUT at the cost of earning a good passive income

2) Going to company and earning an extra income BUT at the cost of quarrelling with my parents and going against their will

So the trade off would be time for money. Amount of money earned? Unknown since it’s your own business; you won’t have a fix income till it’s established.

Pros

1) Achieve all the dreams I never thought I could

2) Proving to my friends that it can be done

3) Saving my ego

4) Providing for my family

5) Perhaps, make my parents proud of me

Cons:

1) Not able to have enough rest

2) Health

3) Time with your family

4) Transportation cost

5) Going against my parents

It’s been a while since I was active and honestly, I miss those days I spent backing up appointments, giving touring, doing presentations and talking to people around me to learn new things. I also know that I lost the respect my down lines used to give me because I do not deserve the pay cheque I am receiving every month.

However, at the midst of doing the business actively, I lose family time. I remembered how I used to cry in my grandma arms every time I saw her because nobody understands how I feel. I remember waking up in the morning thinking of how to hit my target every day and the kind of stress I have when my parents call me ever night and scold me because I come home at wee hours.

After not doing the business actively for 4 months, I grew a lot closer to my family. My mum no longer scolds me and she cooks for me almost every day because she knows that I won’t be able to eat her home cook food when I go overseas. This is at the expense of losing the respect my down lines have for me and earning a good income if I continue prospecting people.

Perhaps because a lot of my guys died along the way and the people who did the business are mostly not prospected by me but by my guys, guys.

SO,

Logically, what should I do?

Chester asked me to think about what I want in the future. I can honestly tell you what I want to do and my future plans. I am a family person and I want to spend more time with my family because my parents are growing older. I don’t know how much time I have left with them. I am just afraid that after achieving a good income, I may find that it’s not what I want. Or, I may not be enjoying it because of all the sacrifices I make along the way.

I know I am not suppose to spread negativity here but don’t worry. I will post up a solution in my later blog post.

I doubt anyone would read till the very end. LOL! It’s more than a 1000 words. If you read till here, thanks =)

And if you have a solution for me, please feel free to message me if you have my number, or email me at joeyeosp@hotmail.com <3

In order to be successful, I should listen to the opinions of successful people. LOL! I think I am bias but I do pick who I listen to.

Dear Father

Please assist me in making the right decision.

AMEN!

2011-10-28T18:59:00.002+08:00

Haven't been blogging because I haven't had time to reflect
Been so busy and exhausted
Probably cause I OT
So when I reach home, I'll just doze off at my sofa

Isn't easy

But anyway, I met good friends:)
First few friends like Euvin and bing Xian that will make my day
Then Ron and roger
And after that the second batch Kai sen jorge and god Ma
And the third batch of training group, Janice and Gary
In which I got to know Lennon and Zhi Yong
Not to forget Raynard, my best buddy in Citibank
In which I got to know Ben, benjamin and Sally
And perms like bryant that treat us damn well
And today, got to know angeline
<3

Thanks guys for all the joy and laughter
The crazy replies I get when we spam each other's inbox
Being there for each other and comforting one another when we make some mistakes
Especially Kai sen, Raynard and Garry!
Thanks guys <3
They are like my big brothers that takes care and looks after me like how papa used to do

Haha.

---

Was sharing with dad about my perception on property
And he told me something else

Guess one reason why I respect my dad is because he is super smart
He has the wisdom that not may have
I guess God is good
Blessed my dad

I wish I could be like him

2011-10-25T18:51:00.003+08:00

The other day someone asked me this while trying to match make me with someone else

"isn't he good enough? What type of guy do you want?"

Lol
I shall answer him here

I want a guy who thinks about what he want in the future
Knows the exact way to achieve it
Smarter than me
More hardworking than me
Don't smoke
Dont club
Family guy
Average looking
Gives me a sense of security
Hopefully a Christian

And then I figure out that this guy most probably extinct alr
LOL
well, I think I will know when I meet the right one

But that isn't my priority
I just indicate it here so people will stop bugging me
Or match making me with someone unless they find a guy like him

2011-10-25T07:38:00.002+08:00

Been so busy that I didn't have the time to blog

I'm going to OT everyday from now
So good luck to me, I'll probably die of exhaustion in jan
Just to earn the extra 500 a month

Well, God is good
I got the apartment I want in College square
Not cheap at all
About 1400/mth (Aussie dollars)
And that's not inclusive of electricity and water bills

My aunts said I changed to be more mature?
Cause I was calculating my expense and I told them I didn't want my parents to pay for me
I mean, how can I be so Un filial?
My parents are not rich but they have enough fianance to pay for my expenses and uni fees
But I don't want to rely on them
So I told them my future plans and how to earn a income that can help sustain me
And I guess they are shocked? Cause they didnt know a 20 year old girl could think that way
Well, I don't think I'm that good
I'll prove to you guys by action okay?

Okay! Going to work alr
Going to OT till 7:30pm today

Thanks to my colleages:)
I dont feel bored in work

2011-10-22T12:13:00.003+08:00

Pa said something that made sense

Oh, and by pa I mean ek:)
I call him papa/pa cause he is like my father and often takes care of me

Papa said that we all have a destination in mind
Some have it near, some have it far
For eg. We have certain dreams in mind
It may be big or small

Some people may choose to walk
Some people may choose to take a car
Our platform is like a Ferrari car
And our dreams are like our final destination

But not everyone knows how to operate the car
Our mentors will teach us how to
However, Learning how to drive is not as easy as what we think
Some may give up along the way and decide to walk instead
Some may learn, but as they learn, they forget where their destination is and drive in circles

So where are you now?
Honestly, I've came to the stage that I know how to operate the car
I just lost track of my final destination
And after driving in circles, I feel that walking may be easier

So Chester gave me a task to do
Which is to see what I really want and to determine that final destination

I'm going to research about what I really want this weekend
For sure, I want to study
It's just want I want to do after I study

2011-10-21T07:36:00.000+08:00

Today is such a productive day
Met Chester for dinner
Before that, had a short chat with papa

I'm going to start practicing what they tell me
And doing what they are doing

Better write it down in my note book tonight before I forget

Its time to think about what I want
What I really want to achieve
And how to achieve them

Reflection time huh?:)

---

Love the envt in citibank
Probably cause the people there are quite young
met a lot of new friends

A lot of people say I'm bubbly and friendly
Guessed I've changed

In the past, I dare not approach people or talk to them

I'm going to continue to improve myself so I can be a better person
Jia you jo:)

2011-10-19T18:10:00.002+08:00

Thanks to a friend of mine

I know what topic I should write about today
And probably a few people got my SMS

I've always want to be different
To be wanted by many
To have something different that most girls don't have

But come to think of it
I'm far from them
Taking Nic as my pacer
I think she is a different kind of girl
Pretty, mature and independent
When can I be like her?

How do you gauge if someone is mature
By their words or thinking?
By the way they potray themselves or the words they use?
If I stop tweeting or blogging how I really feel just to leave that mature impression
Will I lose myself along the way?

Sometimes I think I'm mature
I think a lot and reflect
If I'm wrong, I'll apologise
Well, I changed a lot after I join the business
I know how to zuo ren a little better
Know what I want
And more importantly, saying "sorry"
If you known me earlier, you will know that I never apologise
Even if I'm in the wrong.

But I'm still immature
I feel so.
I'm a selfish and immature brat
So tell me, what should I do to improve myself?

2011-10-18T22:32:00.000+08:00

Feel a sense of accomplishment
Finally came out with a whole story line for my script

2011-10-18T21:36:00.002+08:00

If you want to be successful, listen to the advice of successful people

I wonder how my dad has all the contacts of rich people
And successful people
Be it in insurance, business etc

So when people give you advice, always see if they are successful or if they are experienced
Be it in love or in their job

---

Ive always wanted a bf when I was young
Maybe cause I watched too many drama serials
Or maybe cause Ive been lonely
And maybe cause I've always been bullied when I was in sec Sch
Or maybe cause I get scolded very often
I just needed someone to be there for me

Because of that, I've often been misunderstood as a young and naive person
But nobody looked through my past and said it's okay

2011-10-17T21:12:00.002+08:00

如果你是我，你会怎样做？

I feel like I'm in a cross road
I don't know who the ask

Because, at this point of time, nobody have been through what I did
And probably, at this time, this decision may affect my life

There was once, during English class
Miss Jane asked us to describe an item that represents ourself
I said, a clock.
Because when I go forward, I won't look backward

So at this point of time, I'll choose my path
And I won't look back after making the decision

But it's so hard
Because I don't know what to do anymore
I don't know who is right and what is right
And who is the devil and the angel

Oh Lord
Please help me

2011-10-16T15:15:00.002+08:00

I feel empty again
Back to where I was 1 month ago
Post drama feeling

Whats love at first sight?
I guess you see different things from a different view?
4 months ago, I met this handsome guy
And fell in love at first sight
When I told my friends about it, they gave me the very zen feeling
And how I would be so happy just by the little things he did
Perhaps, a msg? Or a few words that could make my day?
And how I would be staring at my phone waiting for his msg

That's puppy love right?
My friend told me to enjoy it while I could
Cause it wouldn't last
And some of my friends got irritated because they knew he wasn't the right guy for me
And no matter how many times they told me, I would turn a deaf ear
Love is blind
But that isn't love

What is love?
I don't think I'm experience enough
But I would rather end up with someone that gives me security
And make me very comfortable rather than feeling happy and sad for every single thing that he does
Thanks to Xy, I realised a few things
What's good to look at may not be good to have
And perhaps, love at first sight isn't a good judgement
Don't be blinded by their looks
Cause what's good on the outside, may be rotten inside

And now that my friend is experiencing the same thing that I did,
I guess I should just let him see for himself
Because, no matter how much advice I give, it still wouldn't be as good as seeing it for yourself

2011-10-16T00:07:00.003+08:00

Finished watching dream high this morning

Not bad huh?
Finished it in less than 5 days

This show taught me a few things

to pursue my dreams

I kind of admire their courage and the way they persevere through
And when I look at myself, I feel quite ashame
When I was young, I wanted to be an actress
At that point of time, TCS had really good shows
And I wanted to be a star because I could be the attention of everyone

And when I grew older, I realise I'm not that pretty and tall
And I would rather be a director/script writer because I have the ability to change the story
But still, I dare not pursue film studies
Because I'm afraid I'll fail
Guess this Korean stars have a spirit that we should all learn from

I aspire to be a script writer
So I was also analysing the storyline, twist and the transition between the scenes
It's just excellent
Unexpected
And as I looked at my story, I realise I'm still far from success

Dream high is such a nice show
Because it potrays dreams that Teenagers have
Their dance and songs are excellent
The actor and actress are very talented
And the story line? Fabulous

---

Pursue your dreams while you still can
Because after a certain age, you may forget that dreams do exist

2011-10-15T14:06:00.002+08:00

Learnt smth yesterday night:)

Though it's my second time watching the same film
I learnt that life sucks

We all got scammed
Scammed really badly

If you don't believe, watch the movie/documentary called
Inside job

And you will understand what I mean

You will be shock

2011-10-13T18:04:00.002+08:00

People often say, "I only compete with myself"

Is it a good quote that we should take back?
Sometimes, we need a pacer in our life
But when we bang our happiness on our success over them
That it will be wrong

I guess I am such a loser
I only do things I'm good at
Eg. I don't sing because I cant sing
I dont play games that I know I'll lose

Going to start dancing
Don't underestimate me
I'll work hard and practice hard so I can be a pretty hot dancer

2011-10-12T22:43:00.002+08:00

New insights from the show

I asked bro, if you are a girl, who would you choose?

The first guy who gave up the opportunity to be with the girl because he succeeded
Or the second guy who been through thick and thin to succeed

He said, the second guy

If it's me, who would I choose?

Perhaps I'm different?
I don't believe in submitting to reality

I'll make myself more successful
And get back with the first guy

2011-10-12T20:19:00.002+08:00

I've gotta tell myself its not reality

Cause I'm getting attracted to his "coolness"

---

I feel kind of lonely now
Lonely because I have no one to talk to

Guys are the best listeners
I need a guy best friend now

2011-10-11T22:43:00.002+08:00

Please tell me such things exist

He heard his voice
And was captivated by it
Irregardless of how she look like

I told my bro, it only happens in shows
If I see it for myself, I'll believe

That's why I wanna write scripts
Cause in scripts, things you never thought exist would
Things you thought was impossible will be possible

But my script won't be irrealistic lah!
Have some trust in me:)))

2011-10-11T18:23:00.003+08:00

Randomly came across this song
31st SC grad video

I'll remember you

It has been so long since we have talked
I hope that things are still the same
Hoping they will never change
Cause what we had can't be replaced
Don't let our memories fade away
Keep me in your heart for always

You made me believe
That I can do almost anything
Stood right by me
Through the tears through everything

I'll remember you,
And baby that's forever true
You're the one that I'll always miss
Never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you,
No matter what you're goin' through
In my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

I promise you I won't forget the times we shared, the tears we cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
It may be fate that brings us back to meet again someday
Even though we go seprate ways
You made me believe
That I can do almost anything
You stood right by me
Through the tears through everything

I'll remember yooooou,
And baby that's forever true
You're the one that I'll always miss
Never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for yooooou,
No matter what your goin' through
In my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

If the day should come when you need someone
(you know that i'll follow)
I will be there
Don't ever let there
Be a doubt in your mind
'cause I'll remember you, you

I'll remember you,
And baby that's forever true
You're the one that I'll always miss
Never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you,
No matter what your goin' through
In my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

Forever baby, I'll remember you

--

Meaningful lyrics aren't they?
Guess this will be how I'll feel when I leave
Not that I'll have a specific "you"
But many

I booked my airplane ticket alr
I'll miss valentine's day next year
Lol
Not like I have anyone to spend it with anyway:)

Mum asked me if my friends will be there to send me off
I said, I don't think so
It's a Monday, there will be a meeting in coy

And maybe it's better this way?
Cause I'll probably grab them and say, I don't want to go

I'm afraid they will change
And maybe when I'm back, they don't know who am I
I'll be away for at least 3 years

Treasure me while I'm still here

2011-10-10T21:38:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wish I was a little prettier
A little smarter
Or just a little taller
Have a better figure

Because the world is full of shallow people
They look at physical appearances

But sometimes, we fail to realise something
what's good to look at may not be good to have

2011-10-10T11:29:00.002+08:00

Pretty much sick today
Had a very bad swollen eye on my left eye

And you know, a stingy person like me will struggle to go out of bed to earn the 72 dollars
But not today
My new eyes are God's gift to me
I'll take care of it well

I'm not afraid of losing that money
Just to have more rest and ensure my eyes will recover
And probably cost my parents spent 3k over it
Haha
--

Shall blog about something later?
If I have inspiration to write about some topic

I dreamt that I went overseas
And life started anew

Can I erase some memories from my life?
Just like how it happened in my dream?

2011-10-09T21:47:00.002+08:00

Girls vs Guys

What's the difference between them?
Was asking ek why guys are more successful than girls
Taking reference to our business

I mean look at the board of directors
Most of them are guys

Guys
They are more logical than emotional

Girls
They are more emotional than logical

BUT
Girls are more focused
Guys are more distracted

So if we, girls are less emotional
We can be more successful

Like what ek always say

Girls like to make things big
You give them food, they make you a meal
You tell them something, they will make it like it's a very big thing
You give them a house, they will make you a home
You give then a sperm, they will "produce" a baby
If you give them shit, they will give you lots of shit

Girls are troublesome
And when I'm saying that, I'm referring to myself too
I mean they say many hurting things
But they don't mean it

When they do something wrong, they may not admit it
When they say no or it's okay, they are definitely not okay

Lol. How would I know?
By seeing the way ek manage me
And managing the girls in my network

So I guess girls, let's do something different
Be less emotional, be better and show the guys what we've got:)
And that's why, I'm always happy when a new girl joins my network
I guess there's so much more to do for me to improve myself as a person
I want to be different from other girls
And change the way guys look at me
all the best jo:)

2011-10-08T10:34:00.004+08:00

Slept super early last night cause I wasn't feeling well
And woke up in the middle of the night as usual

Was supposed to meet Chester for dinner last night
But I was sick so went back instead
Wanted to meet him and ask him stuff

But I guess I couldn't wait
Started asking pa the questions instead
And pa told me a lot of meaningful things
Things I could learn from

All along, I've been so selfish
Thinking about myself
Thinking of hitting my status
I've never thought of sharing without a motive
It's always about my target

That's the difference between a successful person and me
I respect ek a lot
Enough to call him, papa
Cause he cares for me like my big brother
And he will care for everyone in his network
He will go the extra mile even if he doesn't benefit
That's him
And what about me?

I'm gonna change
I'll always put others before me
People don't mind paying extra for my service
But I'm not going to do lip service, I'm going to do things from the bottom of my heart

2011-10-07T18:56:00.004+08:00

My future plans:)

After 1 month, I finally thought about it

I don't think they are perfect
But I planned my route well

I'm gonna do a double major
Media & comm and Econs
I don't believe in putting all your eggs in one basket
So I won't do a second major in creative writing

I'm studying Econs because I think it's a good subj
I can work in many places
Do investments in the future etc
Earn a lot of money
And honestly, I do like it
I just dislike writing long essays
And memorising everything
Though I often bluff others that I'm studying it cause I wanna marry a rich guy who does investments
But like what I said "靠山山道，靠人人跑，靠自己最好＂
So I won't rely on my husband
And I don't think I'll be lucky enough to marry a rich guy
When it comes to studies/future, I'll definetly do smth that will benefit me

In school, I'll study very hard and fight for first class/second upper
I'll most probably do a masters in marketing or film depending on my grades at that point of time

When I graduate, I'll work in an investment film or a bank
I'll earn my first pot of gold, not by working but through my business
My business... That's my backup plan

In aus, I'll expand my consumer Market
I won't tell you what I'll do exactly
But I'm gonna make sure I open my third line there
How and what?
I'll only tell my mentors and downlines this

I'll go by God's direction and see where it leads me to

And no, I don't intend to be a journalist

While working, I'll get inspiration and write scripts
And the reason why I chose to be a script writer and not a director is because I want to spend time with my family
When I get married, I mean, if I ever do
I'll stop working and take care of my children
I can still write scripts cause it's quite a freelance thing
Being a director would mean no regular working hours
I don't like that

And I won't just be a ordinary person
I'll be outstanding
You know me
If I really want it, I'll achieve it
I'll make sure I write meaningful scripts
Motivating ones and those that will be appreciated by many
I know I CAN DO IT

You may ask, what's my burning desire that's pushing me now
That's a secret:P
I've tasted "success" before
Because of that, I don't want to be just anyone
I want to be somebody
The more you think I can't do it, the more I'll do it

I'll prove it to you
But this time, not by my own actions
But with God's help
Without Him, I'll be nothing

2011-10-05T19:31:00.002+08:00

Shall write about Steve jobs today
Don't you feel sad?
I do

I feel sad that he lost his health to his business
God is fair
You can't have everything you want
If you want wealth, you may lose your family or health
If you want fame, you lose privacy and all

2 separate take backs
1) wealth is not everything. Really. Be it fame or money. You can't get enough of it. When you have it, you want more.
If iPhone sells so well, what makes you think that he didn't put in more effort to make it better
And have better marketing strategies to make it more sellable?
Or the meetings he had that neglected time for him to see a doctor
Or maybe spend time with his family?

Why?
Ive been through this stage before
I'm not even close to being famous
But there was once, I worked and go to coy everyday
Neglected my family, health
Morning, I'll go to the dental clinic and work till 5:30
After that, I'll rush to coy in eunos
Have appointment till 11?
Which may drag to 12 sometimes
Take a cab home, bathe and sleep
I slept for only 5-6 hours a day
On Sat, I'll wake up, rush to coy to support the 12 and 4pm appt
Go for grouping, supper/movie sessions/alps cafe till 2-3am?
On sun, I'll rush to coy after church for AMS
Didn't even have the time to have dinner with my parents
Didn't even have time for myself

I've been through that stage
I believe my uplines, mentors and some of my downlines can understand this

But there's a difference
We all compressed our handwork into 5 years
So after that, we can achieve FF tgt
And I'm glad I'm doing that.
I don't have to worry about money or about my business failing
Because I can enjoy the fruits of labour
And I'm proud to say that i'm doing MLM
If you want, you can join me
If not, support me
BUT don't condemn me
Cause I'm happy the way I am

2nd take back
What's the point of enjoying wealth, fame, riches and all on earth when you can't bring it to heaven
Of if you are going to heaven in the first place
It's my opinion
What if you go to hell and suffer under the hot and firey flame
When it's all too late to regret
Because you died

Thank God
I can achieve both
I won't neglect my family, friends and health for wealth and fame

---

I wanted to post about my future plans today
Shall post it tmr?
I'll show you that I'm not a normal teen
Who doesn't think about my future

I may be young
But ive planned
I may have lost my direction 2 months ago
But I found it

2011-10-05T17:58:00.003+08:00

Kinda disappointed
Though I know that guys are like that

In jc, I was in a class with 20+ guys and 6 girls
And guys started talking about girls
And the girls will always talk about how childish they are
So I thought army could change guys
I was wrong

In coy, nobody talks about that
We will talk about the economy
Recent happenings
But not that
The 男女要清 policy rocks
Cause we seldom face relationship problems

I feel so upset
Because people judge me base on how I look
I'm not pretty
But I look decent

And I have to thank pa and my good friend for not judging me based on my looks
I mean they are guys, but different from the norm
Well, esp A
Thanks for accepting me when I was the top in my cohort
Thanks for accepting me even though I was from normal acad
Thanks for accepting me when I went all the way to the bottom
Thanks for accepting me when I look ugly in specs and when I'm wearing tee shirt and fbt
And thanks for accepting me after seeing my best and worst
Thanks for being such a good friend

And yes, I said friend
Though he was the only one who laughed when I said I wanna be a director/script writer
But thanks a lot

--

Whenever I tell people I've been through a lot
They will always say, you're only 20
Chester told me this "age is just a no"

So true
I've been through a lot
In terms of studies, I Rose and fell
In terms of relationship, I've been through the best and experienced the worst, got played with
And the way I fought for director so hard
I don't think many would have experience that
And yes, I'm only 20
Young, childish and all
But please accept me for who I am

2011-10-04T17:42:00.002+08:00

Felt super Bored at work today
I hate noon time cause nobody picks up my phone call
So I went down to breathe in some fresh air
And as usual, I'll dial your no and talk to you
But this time I hesitated
I don't wanna rely on you and be dependent on you
Cause I can't just do that in Aussie
Im gonna be independent
That's why Im blogging more frequently now
Because I need a platform to talk

--

Everyone's got that one person you can't forget
Or some childhood sweetheart
That's what I believe

But at our age, we should be more focused in achieving our dreams
Im focused:)
I'm gonna start reading scripts, analysing shows and start on my plan alr
I'm gonna prove it to you that I'll be successful

" how do you see if a girl is attached?"
Somebody asked me this. I don't know how to answer
Can someone tell me the answer?

2011-10-03T22:37:00.002+08:00

Bro just told me about his "big fly" story
And how he sprayed pesticide all around the house to kill it
I totally LOL
Then he asked me back
"if it's you, what will you do?"

If it's me, I'll scream, run to my room and wait for 2 hours till the fly flies out
Lol.
Cause it happened before
The disgusting buzzing sound was super irritating
And I dare not kill it

But who knows?
Going to Aussie may force me to be independent
I may be a fly/lizard/crockoach killer:D
Can't wait to go there soon!

2011-10-03T17:51:00.003+08:00

Brought my cousin's nephew out for a walk yesterday
He is about 2 years old?
Super cute
Brought him out to eat ice cream
Sometimes I wonder how my child will look like in the future
I hope he/she will look handsome/pretty
I don't know if I can take care of my child just like how my parents did for me

I feel that I'm really fortunate
And I don't realise it
I have a great family, have a doting younger brother, have loving aunties and a grandma that dotes on me
I grew up in a family that didn't have to worry about money

Ever since I started topping my cohort in sec 3, my parents stop giving me pressure
And perhaps it's cause of that, I always work hard to get the top for every test and exam

When I was young, my parents were very strict
I don't have a gameboy
I can't play computer games
I can't have what I want
And my only entertainment was the playground
I get canned at least once a month cause I was very rebellious
My parents don't buy me toys cause they find it a waste of money
And I was really unhappy
I will cry on bed every day, telling myself I want to leave this house

But ever since jc, everything changed
Probably cause my parents saw how hardworking I was
When I was stressed and tired, I'll whine a little and my dad will bring me out to have ice cream
When I wanted a camera, my dad bought it for me
When I wanted a new computer, my dad bought it for me

This year, I told my dad I want to study mass comm
I asked for a video camera
He bought it for me
My ear piece broke, he bought a new one for me

My dad's wonderful
God blessed him
The reason why my bro and I can go overseas to study is because of him
We are debt free because of him
Thanks Dad:)
I do not need to worry about money because of you

In UK, I saw a lot of pretty clothes, and my parents gave me money to buy it
this incident made me very touched
Dad saw me starring at this wallet and pondering if I should buy it cause it cost 200+ dollars
Ive never had such a expensive wallet before
And dad told the sales person to wrap it up and said it was my early birthday present
When I liked the CK boots, my mum bought it for me

When I was in jc, i often complain I'm hungry
Mum would wake up from her afternoon nap to cook dinner for me
I like to eat cod fish and drink scallop soup
She'll cook it for me every Monday
And it isn't cheap
Mum would always save up to pay my tuition fees
She don't spend the money on herself

Every year, my aunties would initiate to have a birthday party to celebrate my birthday

When I was in company fighting for director
I used to visit granny once a month
And every time I do, I'll start crying
Cause i'm very stress and nobody can understand that
Then she will hug me and say it's okay

And all of a sudden, I feel like I'm in such a good family
My parents are so loving
And I dont feel like leaving anymore
I'm afraid I cannot do the same thing for my children
But I'll start working hard for my future
I love you ah Ma, daddy, mummy, brothie, 小姑 and 四姑姑

2011-10-02T11:40:00.003+08:00

I dreamt that I was the first in class for some exam
The teacher asked me how I felt
I cried and said " happy. I never thought that such a day would arrive"

Ive always believed that success comes to people who failed before
I've failed before and succeeded and then fail again

In primary school, I screwed up PSLE
Many of my jc friends told me that P6 math is very easy
I beg to differ
Lol. My results were quite bad
An aggregate score of 176
Ended up in normal academic which was my biggest failure in life
Well, at that point of time
I used to look down on people who ended up there and karma found me

In sec Sch, my results miraculously improved
Because I found a good math tutor who taught me for a year
In sec 2, I was 5th in my cohort
From sec 3 to sec 5, I was first in my cohort
And I've never missed my first position for every major exam
For O levels, I topped my cohort again and went to a jc
I thought that I could achieve my dream of being in doctor
Not to help people but for fame and glory

I started trying out new things
Joining council was a mistake
I'm not smart but I'm hardworking
If you study for 1 hr, I'll study twice as much
But in council, I was never able to do that
In j2, Arthas had a hard time trying to build out my foundation
I don't blame him for my results
Because he really did put in a lot of effort in teaching me

After sec Sch, I wished I'll see success again
I'll smile and go on stage to take my award
And as a girl, I've too much ego
Failure is not something I want
I really want to work hard again
And get the glory I did in sec Sch
And find that passion I lost
I wanna make my parents proud of me
And compete with you again
Can I?
Will that dream come true?

2011-10-01T10:43:00.002+08:00

Went for Jagen's sharing and grouping yesterday
I believe the 10 dollars spent on cab is well spent

Maybe it's cause I paid my school fees yesterday
And realise I've gotta spend a lot of money to get the degree
And Working in citibank taught me one thing
You don't need a very good degree to get you a job and get promoted
But a good degree will be an advantage

My school fees cost about 80k++
My apartment cost about 1k++ /mth
what about food, utilities, water, phone bills etc?
I don't know if my dad has enough money to support me
Or even when he insist he does,
I don't know if he is lying

Life is so troublesome
Sometimes I wonder why I'm born

Time to think of a new plan to help me pay for my tuition fees

2011-09-30T18:09:00.002+08:00

Sorry
I was wrong all along

---

Ron sent me an email yesterday with attached articles
And I think it's true
Read step 1,
It says, discuss your ideas with someone you trust

So who should I trust?
Who can I trust?

And who won't put me down?

I need a best friend
Not boyfriend
But a best friend that will spare some time to listen to me and be there for me
Someone that won't copy my ideas
Who?

I just dislike people who copy me
In sec sch, there was someone who always copied the way I dress
Sometimes, people use words that were "invented" by me
Or my style
I know I'm really selfish but sometimes, I just want my stuff to belong to me
Be it people, style, items etc etc
I'm such a spoilt brat:(

2011-09-28T12:53:00.003+08:00

Somethings are better kept unsaid
And somethings are better left Unheard

Your Tongue is probably the most dangerous part of your body
Because words that are said cannot be unsaid
And sometimes a sorry cannot solve the problem
Forgiving is easy but forgetting is difficult

--
Today is supposed to be my last frolick day with Euvin
But... CCMU won some competition and we were all given free ice cream
So no frolick today
Ice cream makes my day
The sweet taste that lingers in your mouth
And that absolute silence when everyone is busy finishing up the ice cream
I love this feeling:)

2011-09-27T22:02:00.003+08:00

This morning when I was up,
I thought of this brilliant plan:)

Shall go execute it tmr or the day after
Don't ask what's that
Cause if I say it out, many people will try it
Shall discuss with Papa (Ee Kheng) and see if it's workable

My face has all the scars around
Have been cultivating the bad habit of poking my pimples everytime it comes out
And hey, it looks so ugly now

I'm trying skin care and from tmr,
I'm gonna have ADEL
If the scars fade away
And my face becomes smoother

I'm gonna make sure i promote skin care series + ADEL
Cause I think it's seriously good
And I wanna share my joy with others
Not cause I wanna earn your money

---

I've receive 2 birthday msgs last week that said
"happy birthday."
This 2 guys seem to have a lot of grievance
Because
Why would people wish someone happy birthday with a full stop behind
Are you sending it because you just want to remind me that you remembered my birthday?
Or is it Un-intentional and me just purely thinking too much?

2011-09-27T18:59:00.002+08:00

No inspiration to write today:(

2011-09-26T21:26:00.002+08:00

1 lesson I learnt from Arthur

You can give yourself 1 million reasons why you can't succeed
But im actual fact there's only 1 reason why you should succeed

And thats the thing that differentiates the top 5% and the bottom 95%

2011-09-26T17:38:00.002+08:00

My bro just asked me to be his "Shi Fu" and teach him how to woo a girl
Well, if I succeed in doing that, I'll most probably write a script about it
It's kinda easy to woo a girl
Learnt quite a bit from ek

A tip
男人不坏，女人不爱

Anyway, I'm not interested in being in a relationship
But I've seen too much
Guys can be really good friends
But anything more than that = higher expectations = greater disappointment

I told a few people I will have many boyfriends in the future
So I can write good scripts
I'll take that back
I don't wanna risk my happiness for that
I just need to know people who have been in many relationships

--

In a pretty bad mood today
Think it's cause of PMS
Plus I made quite a few mistakes last week

But God cheered me up by letting me collect a lot of money today
The amt collected = 2 Xs of Jason Chia income
Unfortunately, I don't have commission for that

Oh well, let's hope I'll feel better later:)

2011-09-24T23:48:00.004+08:00

Birthday party just ended
Okay, not really cause I was at the pool side chatting with kit

Had loads of fun catching up with my old friends
And eating awesome BBQ food

This year's birthday was spent well
Awesome much

Thanks for all the lovely presents and cards
I'll bring it with me when I'm overseas
this few memories will be well remembered
Things that can never be bought with money
That's memories huh?

And this birthday taught me smth
Friends come and go
Boyfriends come and go
But there are a few people who will stick with you throughout
That's your family
And best friends

And in the future, whenever I think of my 20th birthday,
I'll remember
Ee Kheng for planning the USS trip and booking the hotel room for a few of us
Nicole for baking the delicious strawberry cake
Hui ling for helping her decorate it
Wen Jie, Wan Xin and Valarie for spending 2 days 1 night with me

My family for organising my birthday party
Geok Leng and Viviann for coming over though you are the only ones from your category
LTC Facils, Kuang wen, angie and Sebastian for coming
Wei Kit, Pipi, Jia nan and Julian for coming

Thank you Bing Xian and Euvin for the birthday treat

Thank you Robert and Ron for staying up till midnight at my pool side to wish me happy birthday

Thank you people for all the birthday messages
And birthday wishes in fb
I do appreciate it:)

Thanks guys for everything:)
I appreciate it a lot

2011-09-24T12:45:00.003+08:00

Had an awesome day yesterday:)

Went to USS with Ee Kheng, wen Jie, Nicole, hui ling, wan Xin and Valarie:)
My first and probably the last time I'll be going there before I leave
Who would have thought that a "hum ji" person like me will dare to sit on the roller coaster ride and insist I wanna take it 1 more time?
It isn't about the rides and about the scenery
It's about the company you are with

And I'll probably enjoy doing all this with you all once we achieve FF

I feel so proud of myself:) sat on the roller coaster ride for 2 times each (red + blue)
Took the indoor roller coaster ride 5 times,
4 times consecutively
Think ek was secretly cursing me?

After that, attended super b in coy
Shall write my short reflection on mon

And there was a birthday cake specially baked by Nicole and hui ling
Love you dear <3
I'm super touched! Really:)

After which, we went to eat dim sum for supper at about 1am
Then we went mustafa shopping at about 2am?
Awesomeness

And I went back straight to the hotel and slept

Played a treasure hunt game in the morning to find my birthday present
I totally suck at that
And found this really cute badge saying "best director"
Well, I hope that I can really be a director in the future
And write brilliant stories
And after every serial, you will see my name
Director- Joelle Yeo Jia Wen

Thanks guys for giving me all this memories
Better than any other material goods
And I'll definitely remember all this when I'm celebrating my birthday alone for the next 3-5 years
I love you all

2011-09-23T09:09:00.001+08:00

My first birthday post

Had a bad day yesterday
Went out with bestie first
Then colleagues came over to drink at my pool side

Felt so much better after that

I asked them
Which category do you think I belong to?
很会做人 or 很会做事？
They said they aren't sure but from what they see, it's 很会做人

Guessed I've changed
Changed to be a better person
I may not be as good as nic or ek
But I'm still learning:)

Anyway, thank you guys!
Though staying till mid night wasn't supposed to be part of the plan,
But I truly appreciate it:)

2011-09-22T20:07:00.000+08:00

Today didn't go well

Shall smile and get it over with:)

2011-09-21T14:25:00.002+08:00

Quote of the day

The strongest person by day may be the weakest person at night

Don't be deceived by the cheerful face
Or the crazy laughter

But rather look through her heart

2011-09-19T19:59:00.003+08:00

Went for SD movie screening yesterday
Well, more like a documentary

Took back a few things
1) the world's economy is controlled by a few people
2) ethical practice should be enforced in any business
And much more
3) I'm glad I'm gonna study Econs

I've to admit that I was pretty exhausted
I was half dead when boss was debriefing

Gotta thank ek for fetching me home:)
Guess I'm really fortunate to have him
Thanks for sticking with me through thick and thin during my fight
I remembered that day when I was in UK and when I was crying in the middle of no where
I just dialled his number and whined saying that I wanna go home
Then he will crack some joke and start making me laugh
And he would sleep at 7 am everyday just to viber call me and update me about my network
Perhaps there were times we quarrel
And times we cannot agree with each other
But all in all, I know that it's cause he cares for me
I really respect him a lot
Thanks for everything

2011-09-17T20:21:00.002+08:00

Shall update my birthday wish list today

1) Granny to stay healthy till I succeed
2) Have a memorable birthday celebration
3) Go USS ( accomplished thanks to papa (Ee Kheng) =D)
4) Special request card from -
5) TITUS watch I saw in IMM
6) Black Charles and Keith bag
7) Money? LOL!

Nothing much already

I always believe that memories are better than material goods
so thanks Viviann for the photo frame and card =DDD

Dont buy me stuffed toys or flowers okay?
Just give me memories that I'll remember for life

2011-09-17T05:54:00.003+08:00

Euvin asked me if I watch Smurfs alr
Cause I told him I wanted to watch it 2 weeks ago
And I said no

My friends are busy people
Some of them are doing their own business
Some of them are in NS
Some of them are in uni

I've so many friends
But only a few close ones

And he said something meaningful and something i should take back

"If they think you are important, they will definetly make time for you
It's all about time management"

New quote to add in my script!

----

Love the environment in my new work place
And my job scope too:)
Just that I'd get scolded at least once a week
And in that case, it's all about controlling my emotions

Shall update my birthday wish list in a while!

2011-09-15T22:29:00.003+08:00

Sometimes we accidentally anchor too many things into our heart
Or false impression and false feelings subconsciously
Perhaps because we are lonely?

Does it apply to girls only?
Cause I'm pretty curious

2011-09-15T17:56:00.002+08:00

An ice cream a day
Keeps the frown away:)

2011-09-13T18:21:00.001+08:00

More than friends, less than a couple:)

Whoever thought of this idea is pretty smart huh?
You have a companion, and you can just leave the relationship anytime when your feelings slowly fade

And I'm feeling blissfully happy cause recently a few of my friends just entered a relationship :)

Guess karma found me
I used to ps my friends a lot when I was in a relationship
Now that I'm not in a relationship, and my friends are in one, I get ps-ed a lot.

Give me some inspiration to write new stories
Preferably family problems:)

Work is pretty exciting:)
Time past so fast
Unlike my previous coy
And I've made a few friends here
Love this envt:D

2011-09-12T18:02:00.003+08:00

Started calling people alr:)
Found it pretty fulfilling

Counting the days as it past
I'm afraid of leaving
Cause I'm afraid that things might change after I come back
What if people leave along the way?
I'll miss granny and all my beloved family members

And what if everyone else becomes so successful?
I'll probably not let that happen

Maybe I should take away the "what if's"
And start working hard for my future

2011-09-11T02:05:00.003+08:00

Sean's talk was fab
I've learnt so many things
But out of which, i found my passion again
I wanna be a script writer
One that writes brilliant scripts and motivates people
And I don't care if I don't get paid
I just want recognition:)

My good friend once said this
If you choose this path, then make sure you stick to it till you're 60
And in any case, I normally get bored of people/ stuff after 3 months
Ive always want to enter the media industry since young
It has been more than 5 years alr
And I'm glad I finally know what I want

Anyway, I watched this show and there's a scene that strucked me
亲上加亲
Why is it unacceptable?
Is addressing the family members more important?
Or love between the two couples?

Tell me your opinions okay?
Cause I wanna write meaningful scripts:)

2011-09-09T08:07:00.001+08:00

Feel so exhausted
I have to censor what I wanna say now
Sometimes, I feel like creating a private account
Dislike to be judged and dislike to be the topic of people's conversation
I'm just a normal girl
No, I'm my own boss
So I cannot behave just like any other people

That's probably the price Ive to pay

I've got so much things to say
Guess blogging helps
Cause only people who care will read your blog
Now I've gotta censor what I wanna say
Cause I've gotta be accountable to it.

I can't wait to start working on my script
Cause it seems so much more fulfilling writing it
I'm so selfish but I won't share what I'm gonna write till I succeed
Probably cause I've got stabbed before
People just copy my ideas and say it's theirs
This is our world

I've got so many things to say and to do before I leave
But i doubt I'll ever achieve them

My last mid autumn festival and birthday celebration here
But it may not be a memorable one
(If you're smart, you should know why)
perhaps, it gives me another reason to leave
And makes it easier for me to leave

2011-09-07T13:12:00.000+08:00

I wanna be a script writer cause I wanna be the main character for once and not just any other supporting character or living in someone else shadow

2011-09-05T00:34:00.002+08:00

I think I've gotta clear this up

I'm okay with people doing it
I'm just upset that the world have changed
And people are doing it just for pleasure

Just like you
Got sick and tired of your nonsense
And I've been trying to protect you all along

Disgusted
And all of a sudden, I'm not interested in guys
I just needed someone to be there for me
I don't think I do anymore cause I've got so many besties to support me
靠山山道，靠人人跑，靠自己最好:)
Time to be independent yo?
Gotta learn to face my problems alone.

Something new to add to my script

Time to fight hard for my future and not think about useless things like this

2011-09-02T21:09:00.004+08:00

Went out with a old friend of mine yesterday night
Guess we were so caught up with our lives that we barely have the time to go out
So I made this request

what striked me the most was what he said

I used to be that girl
That NA girl who wanted to make a difference
Who wanted to prove to everyone that she is different

So I went on to another path
I choose to go to a JC
And I wanna be someone outstanding so everyone will respect me

And when I joined the company
I wanted to be someone different
Or for once, I wanted to be better than Arthas
Cause this platform is fair
It doesn't restrict anyone from obtaining success
And that's why I fought so hard to hit that director

But now, I've lost my passion for everything
I've lost that desire within me
That one that will help me strive and achieve success

Is it cause of my A level results?
When will I learn to step out from my comfort zone
And stop waiting for someone to pull me up
I wanna pull myself up

What happened to that me?
Will I find that passion in uni again?
How can I climb up to the top again?
Can someone help me? Tell me what to do

I'm really lost
And what he said striked me so hard
Probably cause he is someone I respect a lot
and cause I'm guilty
Why did I get distracted along the way?

So what am I suppose to study in uni?
How can I be different?
How can I be respected again?

do I really wanna be a script writer and write meaningful scripts to motivate the people around me?
Is that what I am going to do for life?

Dear God
Please guide me. Please listen to my prayers.
Amen

2011-08-31T01:44:00.002+08:00

I really feel like changing my degree to bachelor of fine arts
But I just don't have the courage to

I don't know if I can be that successful
And I don't want to waste my parents money
Moreover, I don't even know if I can pass the interview

Maybe taking a major in media & comm and Econs will be better?
But I'll know I'll probably die of boredom in school
It's not something I like

I want to be that director
That script writer that writes wonderful scripts
One that motivates everyone

But I'm afraid
Afraid of being incompetent
Afraid of being unsuccessful
Afraid of losing family time
Afraid of having no money
Afraid I'll lose my passion

Nic asked me if there's anything that has really impacted my life
And I never really thought about it
And it's probably the day I realise I was a normal academic student
And suddenly everything changed
Probably realised my life was "destroyed"

And that's when I started picking up myself
To be who I am today

So tell me,
What should I do?

Logically
Route: do a major in media & comm + Econs
If I still have the passion, I'll go to New York Film Academy and do my masters in fine arts
If not, I'll do my masters in marketing

Follow my heart
Route: try the test, if I pass the interview, I'll just major in fine arts

So should I do a best case and worse case scenario?
I've always taken my life seriously
Thats why, I've always followed my backup plan in life
But i probably didn't do my research
Fine arts =/= arts

Dear Lord,
Please show me the right route, help me Lord.
Amen!

2011-08-23T10:10:00.002+08:00

just had my lasik Surgery
Thank God it was a success
but im a little bored now
daddy wouldnt allow me to go out for 1 week

what can I do at home

After the incident that happened a few days ago
I realise Im quite an introvert
I dont like to tell people my problems
because I'm afraid of how people will look at me

Just a few days ago, I quarrelled with my parents regarding uni
Yesterday, the doctor realise that my eye pressure is too high
Meaning, i may suffer a condition that may cause me to be blind in the future
but after further checks, he realised that it is okay

and before the checks, I was so afraid
I didnt know who to tell or who to look for
I dont know who I can trust my feelings to

I realise that I used to tell pa all my problems
then I didnt like it cause it was like a one way communication
and I didnt wanna tell my downlines too

used to tell boy many things
but I have no idea what he is thinking
and so, I stopped

and ever since I joined the coy,
i seldom share my stuff with Art
If you ask me, I really miss those times that i could tell him anything

and sometimes people I want to talk to can never understand how I feel
because they've never experience it before
so i just kept it to myself

Maybe so, thats why i want to be a script writer
cause in scripts, there are always perfect solutions to solve the problem

but now i realise I'm pretty pathetic
I feel rather lonely

sometimes I wish I could go back to 2 months ago
where I was learning driving
cause when I'm driving, I'll forget about reality for a moment
forget about all the shit I've got
forget about leaving
or maybe its cause instructors like Mr Lee and Mr Ng will constantly tease me and distract me from reality

God,
please help me. Please Lord.
Amen

2011-08-15T00:27:00.002+08:00

Felt as if I just initiated a break up
Just like all relationships, first few months are the sweetest
I remembered myself arguing with my parents cause I know that's best for me
And I remembered the passion I had even when I was in UK

And maybe things changed a lil when I came back
I started to see reality
Or whatever my parents was trying to tell me

Or maybe I got a lil tired

I used to tell my kids during LTC

At the monkey bar, the toughest part is when you're in the middle
Cause the bar is simply too slippery
And the water is so tempting
You feel like dropping and giving up when you're so close to completing it
But as long as you continue, you'll get what you want
Even If you did try but you fall, you know you did your best

But in reality it seems so hard
I tried hanging on
I tried grabbing on
But it seems like there isn't anyone to encourage me to grab the next bar
And the water is simply tempting
I feel like letting go, or maybe I did so alr

But sometimes, I just want to find back the passion I had when I first started
And what's most impt is that, now that I've fall back into the water, I've to learn to move on
And not dwell on it

I gladly enjoyed myself
And I believe I've achieved many things along the way
And I've gained the respect I deserve

Just that sometimes, I need that support too
I'm a girl
I'm not as independent as what you think I am
I'm not as responsible as what you think I am
I don't like to be accountable for every move I make
I don't like to be tied down
I don't like to lose my freedom
I don't like to be neglected
I like to be treated like every normal person in your network
But I can't
With higher post, higher income comes bigger responsibilities

And no matter how happy I was
I know I can't neglect all this
And things that will Un intentionally make me lose my smile

I feel as if Ive initiated a break up with my boyfriend cause I committed my entire life in it for close to 6 months
Lost my time for friends and family
Didn't have time to find a boyfriend
And I'm okay with that
Cause I made good friend's Here
Learnt many things that council didn't teach me
Got to see reality
Got to know my sugar daddy and 偶像

Thanks for everything:)
It's gonna be the start of something new

2011-07-23T08:01:00.002+08:00

I was thinking why I like you
And it's cause of a simple reason

Cause you start telling me your problems
Unlike the envt I'm in
I just wanna be a good listener

And I've been sharing many things with others
And for once, I want to be selfish and keep you for myself for the next 5 months
But I know it isn't very feasible

---

Been a hectic 1 month
Anyway! I passed my driving:)
One more exam to go and I'll start chionging hard and focus on my goals that I wanna achieve in the business

Jia you joelle
I need some motivation to fight on
Help me

2011-07-04T01:07:00.002+08:00

Guessed many things happen recently
3 months ago, I was in UK
2 months ago, I was fighting hard for director
1 month ago, while I was thinking about my life and about what I should do when I go uni, I met you

Ee Kheng say's I change my mind very fast
Nicholas says that my head rule over my heart
Wan Xin thinks I'm a objective orientated person and can achieve things I set myself upon

But honestly, it's not a choice of mine
I'm determined I wanna perform very well in everything I do
Maybe cause I've been inspired by girls who succeed in life
Maybe cause I've been groomed with the mindset that guys cant be trusted
Maybe cause I've experienced too much

And maybe cause i am addicted to victory
And how I love to be praised
And how my parents never cared till I topped my cohort in sec Sch

And so, I found a platform where victory could easily be achieved
only if your desire is strong enough

The route was never smooth
My university was a problem
Choosing between local, overseas and private
Choosing my dream course or a course I don't like or a course that can earn me big bucks

Learning to escape the problem or face it
During this period, I met you
Not the typical guy who is smart or rich
But someone who was able to distract me from all this
And someone who would listen and share with me stuff

And maybe cause of that, I soften my heart which I hardened for 6 months
Or maybe cause I was dazzled by your eyes
I don't know

But for one thing, I'm getting addicted to you

I only have 5 months
And I'm not sure if you are serious
And I don't care if you ignore me when you are busy
I don't care if you are obsessed with your car
I'm just glad I crossed your mind
At least for a while and I'm glad I made a small impact to your life

I don't care if Nicholas thinks I'm someone who will feel happy at the expense of others
Or if anyone around me thinks that I'll be distracted

Cause I'm gonna make you the first person I'll care about
Or the first person that doesn't feel that my world is all about me
I'm gonna be selfless

But for one thing I know,
I'll still be that girl who is very focused in achieving my dreams
One that is gonna make an icon in the company
And i want to make you part of the reason of my achievements

Dear Lord,
Please continue to Bless me in everything i do. Please let me be very focused in achieving what I want and don't give up on me.
Amen!

2011-03-31T13:40:00.000+08:00

You know how much it means to me

2011-02-21T15:45:00.002+08:00

my blog is dead

hahaha!
guess Ive been too busy doing things that will change my life

Sometimes opportunity only comes once
I decide to take a step before my peers
do something different from them
what about you?

---

A level results are coming out soon
excited or not?
I'm not really sure
I guess I was sort of prepared to focus in whatever I am doing now
and study just for interest

but I just want my 7 years of hard work to pay off
everyone's dream is to get straight As right?
so hopefully my dream will come true

the people who look down on me will stop doing so
the people who dont believe in me will stop doing so
but why would i leave my fate to some results where hard work does not pay off

I would rather focus in a platform that allows me to get rewarded for my hardwork.

Dear Lord,
please bless me in everything I do. Please change my life this month.
AMEN!

2011-01-20T21:22:00.003+08:00

Sorry people
It's been a long time I blogged
Was busy expanding my business:)
Yup.

I'm really glad all this made me closer to my sec sch friends and council mates:)
Never thought it will come a day in which I'll see you
Or that enermies can become good friends:)

I quit my job:)
Mainly cause I can't commit
I've learn many things
Thanks Dr Cho for doting me and buying me books to read:)
Thanks for all you guidance:)

I miss you
Not as my bf
But my best friend

We used to go out every now and then
Smile and have fun
Look around and laugh at each other
But what about the times we can't agree with each other
Or the times you were so busy?
Hmmm. I don't miss it actually
I just miss the person I talk to every night

But I've gained so much more
Friends and even family

I'm still enjoying my single hood
So if you're a guy who wanna jio me, I'll only consider if you are smart, handsome and rich
If not, just let me enjoy my life

Though I wish I have someone to rely on,
I also want to be independent
I'm a career minded person
We all know that right?:)

Dear Lord
Thanks for blessing me and clinching every deal I can. Thanks for loving me and guiding me. Please guide me!
Amen:)

2010-12-11T20:15:00.002+08:00

I'm currently working in a dental clinic now
And it's like the best job ever!
Dr Cho is really nice!
He teaches me stuff and guides me a lot
A very patient guy indeed

My job is a dental assistant
Anita is the other assistant who guides me
She taught me how to set up the clinic, wash and sterilise the equipments, hold specific instruments
I must say that this is so best job ever
I mean other than being the dentist, you must know specific dental equipments

I love this job
I'm truly inspired by Dr Cho
There has been incidents in which I admire his swift decisions and kindness

One girl who has braces have bigger brackets than others
While putting on the modules (rubber band to hold the chain), the modules were too small for them
Dr Cho tried but failed on one bracket
Instead of not doing bugging, he used the modules to bend around the bracket ledge to secure the metal
He is really smart and makes quick decision
I must say that not a lot of people will do that

Another incident would be the old man who wanted to do crowning
Due to his age, Dr Cho gave him a discount
However, the man still found it expensive and chose not to do it
Dr Cho said that you can't sacrifice the quality of the crown because there might be other complications.
Don't be too over confident because there might be other causes

I'm inspired by him
I've learnt so much I never want to end this
I truly want to be a dentist
Truly and sincerely

Oh Lord
Sorry for everything I've done and not trusting you. I always say things in a moment of anger. Please forgive me. I've said it before, if there's anything else I want to do. It's to be a dentist because I finally understand the importance of teech. Please guide me to fulfil my dreams.
Amen

2010-12-03T17:40:00.000+08:00

I am those kinda person who will do anything to achieve my dreams
Even if it means losing my friends
Or losing my social life
Or not talking

I want to go overseas
Why?
Because I've always relied on someone
My parents, my family, sj, Geok Leng or even my teachers
I want to be independent
More importantly, prove to myself that I can achieve my dreams

Even if it means not being part of outings
Being left out
That is me

Friends come and go
Best friends will never
So when you say you don't picture me in your 21st birthday
I feel as if we aren't friends at all
Best friends won't do this to you right?
Like Geok Leng who even plan to save money to go aussie to visit me if that happens
Then what about you?
Now I feel as if I wasted my 2 years in jc
I neglected everyone to study
But oh well

Family members will never leave me
And I won't leave them either
I love them

My dream from young was to be an actress/model
But later on in life, I realise I wasn't so pretty
And not tall either
But I secretly wish I was one
An what you did perfectly ruined in
So how could I not get angry?

I won't neglect my friends again:)
Or maybe my secondary school friends
Because they never failed to make me smile
And I don't have to act in front of them

2010-12-02T16:50:00.003+08:00

I love my family because they will never disappoint me
They will always be there to wipe my tears and hear me cry

This time you have reached the extent
The limit
I don't want to see you guys soon

Say I am over sensitive or whatsoever
Because friends will never treat you this way
Let alone best friends

Sorry is only a word
It's an irony when your words don't tally with your actions

Somebody once told me this
People often forget the third part of sorry
Which is not to do the thing again
For you its the same

And by the way
It's not JUST about the photo
There's many other things
Not saying doesn't mean I don't feel it

INSENSITIVE

I am pissed off and I don't want to talk to you soon
I mean YOU GUYS.

Whatever
Starting work next week so can't go for outings
I won't be free anyway
Thanks for spoiling my mood

THANKS

2010-11-26T21:04:00.001+08:00

I wanna be a GS forever
Not General secretary
But major in general surgery

That's my dream
Will it remain as a dream?

2010-11-25T10:25:00.004+08:00

I used to have confidence
Strived above all things to get my dream
But as time past, I wonder if it's right
Along with people diluting my dreams

I joined council for one reason
To boost up my profile
Ok
Maybe cause I really like planning events and helping teachers etc
Although some of my classmates used to hate me for being the teachers pet in sec sch

However, I neglect the most important thing
Studies

Council was fun
No doubt

Planning events
Collating work
Bitching and being there for each other

After which, i lost my motivation for studies
Not that I don't work hard
I do
I mug like crazy
But people like me require more time in understanding my work
It took be a while before I managed my studies in secondary school

I guess I overestimated myself all this while
Handling council, studies and having a bf
It's crazy
I wonder how I did it
Juniors, please don't make the same mistake as me

I lost the reason on why I want to be a doctor
Why?
Is money everything?
Being a doctor isn't easy
Saving lives.
Sacrificing your precious family time
Sacrificing your leisure, sleep and all
I wanted to be it
Because I treasured my life
I wanted to save people and give them a chance to live and love themselves

I guess it's all too late
I remembered how well I scored for my test before I joined council
Never below average (other than physics)
But I didn't lose hope
Because I want that dream to come true
Even if it takes me 7 or 8 years
Getting another degree first
And even if I live again, I still want to be a doctor

Sometimes tv shows can mould and guide you to find your dreams
And I found mine
What about you?

Oh Lord,
Please let fulfil this dream. My hardwork and sufferings will pay off God. Only if you are there for me. Lord, I told you before. I want to do something I really like. Something I can look back and be proud off. Please fulfil it for me.
Amen!